As I was reflecting on a conversation with a close friend recently, it dawned on me: I’m sorry, but I’m really not sorry. If you read our string of messages, you might not think that was the case because, in our short exchange of maybe five messages, we both apologized to the other at least once.
We didn’t disagree on anything. Neither one of us said anything offensive to the other, yet, we each told the other “I’m sorry.”
And why? For being a mom. Y’all, we apologized for being moms. Tired moms. Moms of husbands who travel. Moms of multiple kids. Working moms. [Insert your current stage of motherhood here]. We seriously told each other sorry because lately, we are both too busy being the best mommas we can that we cannot get together. Let’s be honest, a full conversation, in person, that does not take days to finish is the dream state! Typically, when we text, it might take us several days to actually finish one conversation. Any other moms out there saying AMEN yet?
Yup! Because the reality is: MOTHERHOOD. And in all actuality, neither one of us is sorry for that, and you shouldn’t be either. It’s what we love most, and where so much of our joy comes from.
While you now have my permission (which won’t get you anywhere in life!) to stop this madness of apologizing for killing it at being a mom. You also have my permission to find ways to make it all work for you and your family; which, just for the record, will look different for all of us. So while I’m not sorry I can’t do it all and I’m done apologizing when I feel like the most inadequate friend in the world, or the worst employee because of #motherhood. I am raising girls to leave a positive impact on all those they meet, to be a good friend, and to show kindness and grace. And you know what? If I want them to exhibit those things, I have to model that. Yikes! I have to model what it looks like to be a good friend. I need to show them how to manage their days so they learn to juggle priorities in the future.
Raise your hand if you ever feel like the weight of being a momma is going to crush you… Those of you with your (imaginary) hand up, just remember that Winnie the Pooh says, you are “stronger than you seem;” keep that same hand proudly in the air if it’s worth all the lifting, preparation, and planning!
In my short 22 months as a mom, the below has helped me to (try and) live this out. Please drop your tips and tricks in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you (and I need all the help I can get)!
Plan ahead: I get it. Some weeks, you got this. Other weeks, it is okay that your family is surviving on take out (and probably loving it!) because you didn’t make it to the grocery store or can’t even remember what day is. Me too, sister, me too. Planning ahead can mean anything from preparing freezer meals for your family to lining up a babysitter so you can finally have that girl’s night you’ve been dreaming of!
Write it down: Yes, all the things. Write them all down. Being intentional doesn’t happen by chance. It takes planning and practice. From music lessons to birthdays to baby showers, write it all down. My husband can tell you if it doesn’t get in my phone on my running “to do” list or on my calendar, it truly doesn’t happen and you know what, I’m not sorry because of #motherhood!
Grace and giggles: When all the above fails you, give yourself a whole lotta grace and giggle about it! Grace is truly endless in motherhood; so offer up a little of that grace that you give to your kids, your husband, and your friends, to yourself. Giggle, laugh, and just have fun! I don’t know who said it first, but “mommin’ ain’t easy,” and I personally think it’s so much more fun when you can raise a glass to the Pinterest fail you had (like my daughter’s Halloween costume this year!) or maybe the recipe you nailed (or again, like me, failed)!
Lastly, share experiences: Talk about it. Share the good, the bad, the ugly and be honest. We can all learn so much from how others manage their households and families. Start by sharing your advice below!
To sum it all up: I’m sorry, I’m not sorry. While I thrive on a busy schedule, a long “to do” list, and I have serious FOMO (fear of missing out). NEWS FLASH: none of us can do it all. None. Of. Us. But we can all encourage one another, celebrate wins with each other, and make every day better than the last. You rock, sister! And I’m thrilled to join you on this journey of motherhood. Now I also want to learn from you and your story, so drop a note below to let me know your best advice.